Cherish your doubts…

A month or two ago there was a flurry of commentary on line and in newspapers about some personal writings of Mother Theresa. Considered a “living saint” during her lifetime, she was a woman whose apparent selflessness and dedication to the destitute and dying in India was a model, for many, of unshakable faith.
Yet a book of her correspondence with various confessors reveals that as firm as she was in her call from god, she also was given to feelings of detachment from god, to being lost. Many reacted to these revelations with surprise, or even shock. Some were dumbfounded and others even attributed these feelings of hers to the work of the devil trying to tempt her away from god.
All human beings experience what poets call the “dark night of the soul” - moments, days even weeks of doubt, wonderings, questions or feeling adrift. That one so good, so “holy” should experience this is in no way a sign of evil or an indication of a lack of goodness. For us such questions or explorations might even be the sign of a deeper religious experience, of a different kind of “sainthood”.
Now we religious liberals aren’t usually given over to spiritual ecstasy or hopes of halos and wings sprouting from our shoulders. We don’t look for miracles. But we are deeply religious. And our doubts, when accompanied by a thoughtful, reflective, honest and feeling quest for meaning may be our road to “sainthood”. Doubt is the testing of belief, the ground of reformation, the fountain of renewal. For when we question, when we wonder, we discover.
We can be reassured not so much in the outcome, but in our very ability to do this. And we must then be thankful for this particular religion and this congregation that celebrates and encourages such doubts, questions and wonderings.
Perhaps we aren’t destined for halos nor are we expecting miracles to result from our very being. But we can dearly prize this great gift of doubt. And as more people learn of us, perhaps from those magazine ads, we can welcome and encourage more and more the questions and wondering that lead to understand, to truths and new meanings!