The Lady in the Red Suit

The group opposing Marriage Equality had chosen red as their color and they were conspicuous in their attire back in December at the Senate Judiciary Committee hearing. Today, they were at the State House as well – and so were a lot of Marriage Equality supporters in their blue t-shirts. I found myself eying the crowd, gauging support by what people wore.

I was partially faked out by one woman who just happened to be wearing a red jacket, sitting next to three other women in red. I mentioned to my companion that it cannot be a coincidence, as he had asserted, that all four are just there for another reason and not opposing marriage equality. Turns out it was quite by accident that she wore red and in no way was that meant to telegraph her allegiance. But the other three, who thought she was “one of them”, were in the opposition’s camp.

So later, when I sat in the café eating my lunch, and a another woman in a red dress and jacket came over, smiled and asked if she could join me at the table, I said “yes” and thought to myself, “oh here we go!” It was pretty clear where I stood, with my Garden State equality t-shirt and stickers and a button. But in addition to her red attire, she was wearing a League of Voters pin, and so I thought “this is interesting…” and it was.

Well, you can’t judge a woman by her dress. She wanted to talk to me about the importance of Marriage Equality and the odd behavior of “lame-duck” sessions and the politicization of every vote right now, in this shift in leadership in Trenton. I was talking to an ally! I explained about the opposition’s fashion-choice. She laughed and said had she known, she would have chosen a different stand-out color to wear today.

We discussed these issues and also the “in-state tuition for non-citizens” bill as well, and puzzled over why granting civil and educational rights to people – things that don’t really “cost” the state anything but their goodwill and support, that create a more whole, intact society – seems to be so difficult for some people.

Now that the Senate voted to continue discrimination in the state of New Jersey, the wondering is not just academic. And the fight goes on. As the disappointment of the Marriage Equality bill’s failure weighs on me, I will hold on to the fine speeches some senators gave in support of equality, some that in a surge of hope, brought a tear to my eyes. And to this conversation with the woman in the red suit.